PARENTING-UNDERSTANDING ADOLESCENTS' MORATORIUM PERIOD.

         PARENTING - UNDERSTANDING ADOLESENTS’ MORATORIUM PERIOD

Have you ever wondered why your developing adolescents sometimes become moody, distant, different, and generally non accessible to you in spite of all the “love and affection” showered on them? Most parents have probably heard the word moratorium but often can’t understand what it has to do with adolescents. According to the Merrian Webster’s dictionary, moratorium is a legally authorized period of delay in the performance of a legal obligation or the payment of a debt.  Moratorium at best describes a period of time in which there is a suspension of a specific activity until future events warrant a removal of the suspension, or issues regarding the activity have been resolved. During the developmental stage of adolescence, moratorium essentially means trial and error efforts of the individual in an attempt to understand the developing self in the context of growth or function in an environment made more complex by cognitive development, new perception of parents, etc. lt may also refer to the suspension of decision making concerning issues of identity formation and achievement by the developing child on one hand, and the understanding stance of parents in trying not to pressure their teenager, but rather seek to guide them in resolving the issue being struggled with so they can become more adjusted, productive individuals.
.           Although parenting involves a lot of diverse strategies, styles, etc, it is essential parents bend over backwards if need be, to note these developmental changes and figure out how they can help their developing adolescents become useful adults in the future. Parents generally “feel” rather than “see” such areas of adolescent development as emotional, intrapersonal, cognitive development etc. Obviously, this aspect of the adolescent’s developmental stage as it isn’t as noticeable as that of the physical development in puberty. However, parents notice that “Mummy’s boy” or “Daddy’s pet” has changed over the years, even to the point of challenging Daddy and Mummy’s authority. This is so, since their “baby” now knows Mum and Dad are humans, mere mortals who have difficulties, problems they can’t solve on their own, beliefs that may be suspect, actions that are questionable etc. Such teenagers therefore seek external audience in an attempt to forge an identity for themselves. In such situations parents begin to notice a tendency towards detachment from them. They notice it starts to look more and more like their developing child is beginning to prefer the company, advice, and opinions of others to theirs.

Parents who are privileged to spend more time at home with their children and who are more opportune to experience most of the developmental stages of their adolescents all have questions to ask. This is probably because not everyone knows everything for sure where parenting is concerned. Obviously, it is no one’s fault but due to the fact that parenting itself is a learning process that describes the multi-dimensional process of raising children. Even though there are tested strategies and numerous theories of parenting style, parenting in most cultures, is obviously a “trial and error, or learning on the job” process through social interaction with peers, parents, and concerned others. Parents who spend a lot of time with their children will therefore “feel”, or perceive when the child is going through the crisis of identity formation and the sort of moratorium required to solve the crisis. Failing to resolve identity crisis during adolescence basically creates emotional and pycho-social problems in the future both for parents, the adolescent, and society at large.

Adolescence is a developmental transition between childhood and adulthood. It is the period from puberty till full adult status is attained. Most psychologists agree the dimension of adolescent development covers biological, psychological, social, and economic, and group the stages as early adolescence (10-13yrs), mid-adolescence (14-19yrs), and late adolescence (19-23yrs). The developmental process at this period is however one filled with continuity and discontinuity because, physically adolescents are still influenced by inherited genes which now interact with new social conditions with the family, peer groups, school, and the church interwoven with interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships that involves the opposite sex. Socially the developing adolescents who had spent years interacting with parents, teachers and friends, now gets identity development, identity crisis, and a period when parents should know what their teenager is going through, so they can be there for them to guide them and understand where a moratorium period is necessary.

Moratorium basically describes a stage or a lapse in period of decision making where the individual appears unsure of what decisions to make, or what step to take concerning developmental, psychological, social, interpersonal or intrapersonal issues. The word identity moratorium was coined by psychologist James Macia to describe the lapse between identity formation and identity achievement during adolescence and the crisis involved in trying to resolve the conflict. According to Erikson, an identity crisis is a time of intensive analysis and exploration of different ways of looking at one’s self, within one’s environment. An identity moratorium is therefore a step in the process of finding a true sense of self. It is a period of actively searching for one’s personal, occupational, religious, ethnic or other form of identity. During a moratorium, individuals typically explore as many different options as availsable to them without feeling committed to any option. Therefore, an individual experiencing a moratorium is one undergoing an active identity crisis. While this period may feel confusing and difficult to endure by both parents and the developing adolescent alike, many psychologists believe that an individual must go through a moratorium before he or she can form a true sense of identity, or reach the  state called identity achievement.

Parents who genuinely care about their children and who want to see them achieve their full potential as well adjusted, productive, members of the society, therefore need to be patient, be ready with advise, and be prepared to act as guides as their teenagers go through and try to resolve this crisis.

References:-

1. Steinberg, L (1996), Adolescence 4^th edition, McGraw-Hill, a division of McGraw

Hill companies, USA.

2. Togun, O.A (2004), University of lbadan, Nigeria, M.Ed thesis.

Tags:- Adolescence, identity formation, parenting strategies, adolescent identity crisis, parenting and the adolescent, understanding moratorium in adolescence, parenting styles, emotional development in adolescence, identity development and autonomy, the moratorium period in adolescence.